I’ve been contemplating whether to write about this for a while now. Since Mother’s Day is only a few days away, and with Darren Rowse offering up a new Group Writing Project, I figured now was as good of a time as any. I want to start off by saying that I am in no way trying to belittle, or demean the job of being a mom. I love my mom. We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but she’s also one of the few moms that I know who would suggest a backpacking trip in the Colorado Rockies, with her husband and three sons, as a summer vacation. I’m writing this because I’ve found that, all too often, girls not only flirt with the line between being a nurturing girlfriend and acting like a mom, they also seem to take it a step further by trying to be the guy’s mom. So without further adieu, here’s, in my opinion, the top 5 reasons your girlfriend shouldn’t act like your mom.

• We already have a mom… we don’t need another one - For those of us who have/had a good mom, we know how awesome that can be. They helped us grow up. They fixed our cuts and scrapes, took us to ball practice, and they fed us a lot of food so we could wake up and do it all again the next day. On the same token, once we reach a certain age (for some guys this comes way later than it should), we start to pull away from our mom’s. It usually starts your very first day of school, and progresses from there. It’s not because we don’t need our mom’s, it’s just that we don’t need them in the same capacity we did when we were younger. Our mom’s tend to begin as our general caretaker, and end as a huge source of advice. Why would we spend all that time transitioning from dependent to independent, just to start all over again with you?
• Is it weird to think about kissing your mom? - Absolutely! You bet. Without a doubt. Uh huh. Yes. Not only is that not normal, but it’s also gross. I’m not talking about a kiss-the-cheek kind of kiss. I’m talking about the sloppy, passionate, open-mouth kind of kiss you’d see at the end of a chick flick (not that I watch those, or would even know that that’s what happens).
• Nobody likes a mama’s boy - We’ve all seen them. Some of us have been one, and yet some of us still are, but nobody likes a mama’s boy. They don’t know how to do their own laundry. They can’t cook for themselves. They’re 30 years-old and they still call their mom everyday to tell them everything that happened that day. It’s weird enough to see a guy act like that with his actual mom, but when it’s his girlfriend you start to wonder if maybe the girl should someone who requires less upkeep. Besides, as the girlfriend, why would you want to compete with the guy’s mom. You should, instead, be helping/encouraging him cut the umbilical cord.
• We want your respect - In every instance where I’ve seen a girlfriend acting like her boyfriend’s mom, she always ends up not respecting him. In fact, she ends up resenting him. Relationships, especially romantic relationships, are about give and take. Things won’t always be even, but they tend to balance themselves out later. When a girl is acting like some guy’s mom, she usually ends up feeling like she’s giving more than she’s receiving on a fairly consistent, and lengthy basis. If you resent us, then you’ll have a hard time respecting us, and that’s the last thing we won’t.
• It’s just weird - I don’t think this one needs a whole lot of explanation. As someone who’s experienced this, and not necessarily from a girlfriend even, I find it makes me really uncomfortable.

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